Motivation: Overcoming Our Programming

The idea of “being the best we can be” is not new, and certainly not unique. This is the time of year when Oprah always focuses on the subject, so if you have time during the day, she might be a good resource for moral support. It never hurts to realize that you’re not alone in this effort.

One of the most interesting observations I’ve heard lately about weight control and Americans’ relationship with food came up in the book Frenchwomen Don’t Get Fat, by Mireille Guiliano. Guiliano points out that we Americans seem to have an “adversarial” relationship with food. I can’t agree more. So many of us are always worrying about our weight and thinking ‘I can’t have this and that, but boy, I want this and that, I’ve got to say no,’ etc., etc. Sure, we want to lose weight, but I just have to ask, how did we get ourselves in the unpleasant position of making food the “bad guy”? It certainly doesn’t make eating sound like much fun—and food, in reality, is not just sustenance, it’s one of life’s great gifts (it's downright delightful, or should be). So why do we so often come to the table bracing for either a meal that is not exciting, or a struggle with our urge to overeat?

In my opinion, if we approached each meal with the expectation what we were entitled to savor each bite, we would be more inclined to stop when we’re full. After all, we would know that we could have that dish again another time, because it is not forbidden or discouraged. I have one friend who told me that she rarely had a problem with overeating until she decided she needed to lose a few pounds (mistakenly, as it turned out; she was a perfectly healthy, attractive woman who decided she needed to look like a waif because it was in style). Then the idea that food was verboten revved up her desire to the point that suddenly she really did have a problem with food.

To me, then, the first thing we need to do is give ourselves permission to love food. If we do that, we have only to make a few adjustments and we’re very close to developing a built-in routine for eating that will sustain us for the rest of our lives.

For those who are tempted to reply, “You lunatic! The problem is that I love food too much, not too little,” let me counter: How often do you sit down to a meal and enjoy it without feeling guilty? Other than when you’re eating Home Cuisine food, I should add. And other than the day before you start a diet, when you treat yourself to “one more blowout.”

Next up, I’ll get into developing guilt-free habits and a satisfying—even uplifting—relationship with food.